Dave's Transformers Book Rant Transformers: the Junior Novel Permalink: http://www.eyrie.org/~dvandom/BW/Artifacts/JuniorMovie I was checking Barnes & Noble on the premise that if Diamond was listing the novelization for the last week of May, it had probably actually come out the 22nd. Well, it hadn't, but the Junior Novelization had, so I snagged it on the grounds that it might better represent the actual movie than the full novel would. That, and I'd had a rather frustrating toy hunt so far (more "on the shelf but you can't buy it" stuff) and I wanted SOMETHING to show for the day. (Later note: turns out that at least one B&N has the proper novelization, mine just didn't.) Warning, spoilers after the Capsule. CAPSULE A bit flat, even allowing for kiddification procedures, but the plot seems solid enough. I'd suggest waiting for the proper novelization, but based on Foster's rushed work on the prequel, I'm not sure it'd be much better, just more detailed. Mildly recommended. 134 pages, plus 8 pages of color character pics in the middle. $4.99/$6.25Cn RANT It's clear that there's multiple personal storylines intended here, but Sam Witwicky's is the only one that really gets developed. The other threads involve a soldier who's a new father and hasn't seen his kid yet (who gets a bit of time) and a codemonkey lady who gets swept up in things. The story of the Transformers themselves is really more of a backdrop to judge from this novelization. It's Sam's story, everyone else is supporting cast. Granted, as a kidnovel, they may be skewing things to focus on the reader- identification character, but I get the feeling that the full story will simply spread attention to more of the human storylines. The TFs are macguffins, even Bumblebee really only gets character time as Sam's friend. So, here's the plot in short, in case you don't already know it. Captain Witwicky's late 18th Century expedition opens the story, with him finding the Ice Man (Megatron). A plot point later revealed (and not brought up in the prequel comic) is that the energy burst Megatron releases on initial discovery etches the location of the AllSpark onto the Captain's glasses, making Sam's possession of (and attempts to sell on eBay) an important plot device. Blackout arrives on Earth, blowing up a base in Qatar in the process of trying to get information on Megatron. This kicks off the soldier's plot thread, leading to the infamous "SCORPONOK WANTZ HUGZ!" scene. The codemonkey comes into the plot as she's brought in to help decipher the signal Blackout gave off before comm was cut. Soon after, Frenzy infiltrates Air Force One and gets the info Blackout was denied, and the soldiers evade Scorponok just long enough for an air strike to blow up poor Scorpy. This also leads to the humans figuring out what weapons seem most effective against TFs...high heat lasers, presumably a spinoff tech from studying Megatron. Anyway, that's pretty much background in this novel. Most of the focus is on Sam, who buys Bumblebee as his first car. His attempt to sell the Captain's old gear online brings lots of unwanted attention, just as he was (with Bumblebee's help) managing to impress the teenaged love interest Mikaela Banes, who happens to be a major gearhead with a dark past. She gets sucked into all the bad craziness that ensues. From then on, it's mainly a series of macguffin hunts, first looking for the glasses with the map, then for the AllSpark itself, which ends up in Sam's hands for the endgame. The body count goes pretty high, as Jazz gets to be the demonstration victim of Megatron's penchant for eating Sparks, Brawl gets melted into a puddle, etc. I think Scorponok survived getting blown up, but doesn't appear afterward. Megatron is plot deviced to death and his body disposed of with a nuclear bomb....such admirable thoroughness means he's bound to come back in the sequel anyway. :) And yes, Sam Witwicky does the actual killing of Megatron, ramming the AllSpark into his chest. Why this kills him when he was seeking it is never really explained. In fact, I really hope that this is one of those cases where the ending was based on an earlier script and they changed it, because it's rather anticlimactic and also destroys the AllSpark. No "everything comes to life" scene at the end or nuthin'. As mentioned in the Capsule, the writing is rather flat. Part of this is an inevitable consequence of writing down to younger readers, but a lot of it seems to be that S.G. Wilkens has a tin ear. The only parts that really pop are direct character quotes from the script. However, the plot he has to work with seems decent. There's nothing about it that guarantees badness OR goodness, though, so it's really going to depend on the the directing. We're doomed. Oh, a few other tidbits of possible interest. Bumblebee takes on the 2009 Camaro form after Mikaela chides him for disguising himself as old beater when he could be anything, Prime and Megatron are brothers and used to be co-leaders, Megatron got his power from eating Sparks (hence the vampiric look to him), and Jazz gets something like one forgettable line before getting offed. Ironhide gets even less, and Ratchet doesn't fare much better. The Decepticons get significantly character development, although Starscream gets almost none in the book. As Starscream is the only Decepticon who gets away (if not actually all dead, the other Decepticons are at least captured), he may well be the main villain in the sequel. On the back cover is a list of other tie-in paper products aimed at kids: Activity Books and Gel Pen, Coloring and Activity Book and Crayons, Coloring and Activity Book and Stickers, Meet the Autobots, Meet the Decepticons, The Movie Storybook, Optimus Prime Versus Megatron, The Quest for the Allspark, The Reusable Sticker Book, Sam's New Car. All in all? If you just want what amounts to a detailed summary of the movie, this is your book. It's a fairly quick read and seems to hit all the significant plot points. Dave Van Domelen, "We're not authorized to communicate with you." - Agent Simmons