Dave's Transformers Artifacts Rant Target Gift Card - Optimus Prime Permalink: http://www.eyrie.org/~dvandom/BW/Artifacts/GiftCard1 Update: http://www.dvandom.com/images/lolprimecard.JPG (in the lolbots.com style) Okay, this is one of the weirder things, a transforming gift card. It's not the first time Target has made "cards" that weren't just sheets of plastic, mind you. They've had Christmas ones with blinking lights, and even one that's a small MP3 player (that one had a higher minimum value, mind you). A warning about using Target gift cards. Sometimes they let you keep a fully discharged card, sometimes they don't. I've had both happen at the same store within weeks of each other, so I'm not sure if this is a chain policy or just managers being jerks sometimes. To play it safe, leave a little money on the card, so you get to keep it. That makes this a VERY cheap toy. CAPSULE Optimus Prime Gift Card: An amusing novelty, buy it if you see it. $5 minimum value, but you can then spend all or at worst almost all of what you put in, so it's effectively free. RANT Packaging: This comes plastic-sealed (softer plastic, not blister) to a foldable cardstock backer. On the rack, it's not folded over, and is 10" (25cm) tall and 4" (10cm) wide, mostly dark red with a black border and gray top. You're likely to find it in an endcap display in the greeting cards section. The card front is topped by the Target bullseye and "GiftCard" over the Transformers movie logo. A corroded metal color Autobot symbol is in the upper right, on the corroded metal background. Below this, in the middle section, is "GIFTCARD IN DISGUISE" over the card-mode card. The upper right has the mission statement: "MISSION: Take cover. The evil Decepticons have invaded Earth to take over Target. And we need your help to stop them. Change your Target GiftCard into Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, to battle evil for justice and the best gifts. Be smart. Be brave. Be our hero. Good luck, warrior." This is followed by a few Cybertronian glyphs. You know, if the Decepticons were really invading, you'd think there'd be a Decepticon GiftCard (TM) too. Below the mission statement is a photo of the robot mode. The bottom panel has a space for you to "SEND A TRANSMISSION FROM CYBERTRON:" and to write the dollar amount of the gift card. To the right of that is "LIMITED EDITION" in the black border. The bottom right corner is cut partially so it can be pulled up to peel open the plastic. Folding in the top and bottom panels and sticking tab A into slot B results in a 4.5" (11.5cm) tall sealed "metal" box. The back is red in a black border. In the upper left is "URGENT TRANSMISSION: You've been selected for a special mission - rescue your favorite gift from Target." and below that is a window for scanning the gift card's barcode. I should warn here that any gift card out on a rack away from employee eyes may have had its numbers copied down by unscrupulous sorts, and could end up drained as soon as you activate it. So if you put more than five bucks into this card, spend it fast. In the upper right are instructions for the lucky recipient of the card. ---------------------------------- THE DETAILS: > Find your gift. > Hand GiftCard to Target Team Member - be sure he or she is not a Decepticon. > Confirm transaction. > Ask for GiftCard back to battle evil another day. ---------------------------------- And below that are pinkish areas for the to and from labels. Peeling off the plastic front removes a little of the ink, but not enough to really damage the printing, if you want to keep the cardback around. GiftCard Mode: 4" (10cm) tall, a little over 2" (5cm) wide, and half an inch (12mm) thick, it's not really a card so much as a slab. It basically looks like a headless, armless, thigh-less Optimus Prime made of blue plastic with some red and gray plastics and some paint applications that I'll go into more in robot mode. At the middle is the Target bullet and "GiftCard" in red. The back has the barcode and the scratch-off part for checking the proper serial number, so the earlier-mentioned unscrupulous individuals should not be able to drain the card so long as this bit hasn't been scratched off. In white ink on what becomes the backs of the legs are the Transformers logo, legalese and other terms, including assurances that there are no fees or expiry dates for Target gift cards. Transformation: Pull the legs down, fold the toes down. Pull the arms out to the sides, pull down the forearms and fold out the fists. Press the Autobot symbol button on the torso, and the head pops out. [Later note: the shoulders slide out too. Easiest way is to lift the arms to straight out, then pull up.] Robot Mode: 5.5" (14cm) tall. The torso, head, upper arms and boots are made of dark blue plastic. The forearms are bright red plastic. The fists, Autobot symbol belly button, thighs and toes are light gray. The face is printed on the head with black and light cool gray paints. The chest windows are painted light cool gray with red borders. Red flames are printed below the windows, on the hips and on the boots. The Autobot symbol outline is printed in black on the belly button (and despite my calling it that, it's a little too high to be a navel...the Target bullet takes that position). Everything is, of course, rather flat. It turns into a half inch thick slab, whaddyaspeck? But there's an admirable amount of molded detail within those limitations. The arms swing up to the sides and the legs wiggle out to the sides a little, that's it for poseability unless you count the fist transformation joints. Overall: Hey, it's essentially free, or maybe a penny if your store's hardnosed about not letting people keep emptied giftcards. And it's an amusing novelty. If you have any young relatives that you normally get giftcards for anyway, you might consider loading up on these for birthdays and Christmas. Tell 'em it's Optimus Prime ready for his crossover with Flat Stanley (and I KNOW that book's still floating around, with sequels even). Or, if they've seen Beast Wars, blame the Falling Rock Faction. Dave Van Domelen, will be taking Prime back to the store tomorrow to, um, drain. Wow, that sounds like slash waiting to happen. Or like an episode of Insecticomics. As if there's a lot of difference. ;)