The cover shows Lady Lawful and Doctor Developer walking through a typical megamart. Deedee looks a bit nervous, and is sweating as he pulls at his collar. _____________________________________________________________________________ Coherent LL&DD #1 Comics | ADY | AWFUL __ __ "Swing of Things" Presents an |__ |__ & | \ OCTOR | \ EVELOPER copyright 2007 ASHistory Tale: |_/ |_/ by Andrew Burton _____________________________________________________________________________ "Tell me something about yourself, Deedee," Jennifer asks. It's not a simple request. "Like what? What do you want to know?" She shrugs. "I don't know. Tell me anything." Anything? "Anything?" She nods. "Anything." "Why?" Her face falls slightly, looking a bit irritated. She's cute when she's frustrated. That's the first thing I ever really noticed about her. She gets this look on her face that's adorable. It's this weird mixture of irritation, determination, and a dash of pleading. Her eyes kind of narrow, she purses her lips, and her head tilts just a bit off its axis. It's cute. "Okay, don't answer. Let me think." "Don't think, just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind," she counters. Okay. "I hate going shopping with you." Not okay. I know that look. "Well, that's certainly something," she frowns. "It's not what you think, though, and it is only grocery shopping." "Only grocery shopping?" "Mm-hm." "Why grocery shopping?" "Because we always, always go to the Uberstore." "What's wrong with the Uberstore?" "They sell other stuff besides groceries." "That's why we go there. It saves us having to go all over town." She raises an eyebrow. "Why don't you like it having other stuff?" I feel my face blush. We've been dating...I guess you'd call it that... for over three months, and there are times I still feel like a pervert around her. We've seen each other naked dozens of times now. She's seen me in the shower. I've seen her on the toilet. We've folded each other's laundry. This shouldn't be embarrassing. Big sigh. One more big sigh. "It's distracting." Distracting is probably not the right word. "Distracting?" "Yeah. I mean there you are...probably looking as gorgeous as you always do...then we walk past the hardware section, or the electronics, or toys, or sometimes even the crafts, and I get this great idea for a deathtrap to put you into." Swing sets are my weakness. You take any normal swing set, multiply it by two, and you've got enough raw materials to rig a restraint device that would hold someone with up to ten-times normal strength for an indefinite amount of time. I've got an entire CD-ROM full of traps designed solely from swing sets; each design is cross-referenced to model number of a swing, so I could build one just by ordering a couple of sets from a catalog. Deep breath. "I'm a super-villain for goodness sake. I could...no, I *should* take the entire store hostage and build my death trap, because that's what a good super-villain would do. It's very..." "Distracting." She's smiling. That's not entirely odd. Jenny's not very unusual, but as a super-hero dating a quasi-reformed super-villain, she's probably considered a bit eccentric by most standards. Although, she's probably not as eccentric as someone who keeps a CD-ROM full of swing-set-to-deathtrap designs. "Yes." She shifts closer to me, patting my shoulder. "My poor, evil mastermind." It's obviously somewhat mocking in nature, but she's not wholly making fun of me. Jenny's a great super-hero, which means she has an acerbic streak. It's not that part that defines her, though. She's got more empathy and compassion than a horrified crowd watching a bus filled with nuns being dangled off the edge of a cliff. Sarcastic remarks are her way of identifying and rationalizing the unusual without hesitating. If she were really upset with me, she wouldn't have turned her shoulder patting into a one-armed hug. Her head wouldn't be resting on my shoulder. My head might not be resting on my shoulders. "I don't mind clothes shopping with you." This is true. "Malls aren't as bad as an Uberstore. They partition better." Another squeeze. "What about you?" I ask. "What about me?" "Tell me something about yourself." I can feel her chuckling next to me. "Turn about is fair play," I point out. "I didn't think super-villains played fair." "Quasi-reformed super-villains try to play fair." "Something about me? Anything about me?" "Yes." She shifts away, so I can see that there's a twinkle in her eyes. "I'm not sure if this counts, but okay." She looks away, but not before I can see a slight blush in her cheeks. "I've been thinking, since mom and dad moved, and I've got an entire house now, I should really start acting like a homeowner. Fix it up a bit, you know." "What did you have in mind?" She turns back to look at me. The twinkle in her eye is still there, but there's something else about her look. I had seen that look before. "Just normal homey stuff. Maybe a swing in the back yard. What do you think?" What do I think? I think I'm an as much a bad influence on Jenny as she is a good influence on me. ============================================================================ Editor's Notes: This story is set some time in the mid to late 1990s, within a few months either way of the fourth segment of Time Capsules #9. "Uberstore" should actually have umlauts over the U and o, but they don't come through well in ASCII-7, and I try to keep things as newsreader- friendly as possible. :) ============================================================================ For all the back issues, plus additional background information, art, and more, go to http://www.eyrie.org/~dvandom/ASH ! 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