[Private Journal of Derek Radner - October 22, 2018] Handleman joked today that Tracey and I made a cute couple. EURGH. Seriously. Even if I swung that way (I don't) and Tracey did (pretty sure he's not interested in sex or romance in general, and I pity whoever he DOES get interested in), we would not be a couple. While I think I hide it reasonably well, I think my feelings for him are best described as a mixture of contempt, pity and hatred. So driven, but so without a meaningful goal. Kinda sad, really. And I doubt he'd be anything but a square-jawed keeper of the status quo even if he found a goal. He's about as far from villain material as you can get without being totally inert. But that got me thinking: what makes for a proper villain's consort? (underlined)Arm Candy At the very shallowest level, there's the men and/or women a villain keeps around as much for decoration as anything else. Sometimes there's actually a relationship involved, but usually they're just paid to look pretty and maybe put out as well, like Brawllerina's interchangeable boytoys in their bulging leotards. I don't really think of these as actual consorts. They're more like accessories, like a cape or a throne (in fact, draping artistically is an important function of these people). But since these mobile pieces of scenery are what most people think of when you talk about a villain's consorts, I suppose I need to give them some consideration, if only to refute them as being no more "true" consorts than a mindless berserker is a true villain. (underlined)Fiends With Benefits Dating co-workers can be a pretty bad idea no matter what your line of work, but it happens anyway, including in the business of villainy. Face it, thanks to the Magene effects, we're a bunch of damn sexy beasts. And with the life of a villain (or a not-really-a-villain) full of uncertainty and lack of conjugal visits, there was a LOT of hooking up among the villains of the TwenCen. WarStar's lieutenant Meathead was reputedly something of a lothario, for instance, there weren't a lot of unattached women passing through Haven that didn't pass through his bed. And a few attached women whose partners didn't want to piss off WarStar, for that matter. Again, these aren't really consorts, because they're ephemeral. They lack the stability of even a hired boytoy or call girl. But sometimes they can last long enough to become something else. (underlined)Team-up-and-down I guess all true consorts are really a subset of the more traditional forms of superhero/villain teams (not just duos, you can certainly have multiple true consorts if you're willing to juggle the logistics and drama). Some are more like sidekicks, definitely the inferior in the relationship, while others are co-equal partnerships. Whether they're legally married (and villains don't have much use for mundane law, so unless the marriage happened before the evolution into true villainy, it may not be recognized by any state aside from the villain's own mandate) or not, it's definitely a commitment. It does raise the issue of who is the villain and who is the villain's consort, though. The role may actually swap back and forth over time, but I'm not naive enough to think any relationship is everl TOTALLY equal. Someone always has the whip-hand, even if the other one has a safe word. (underlined)Love-Fight Relationship Face it, there's a lot of hero/villain nemesis deals that ARE expression of romance through particularly twisted means. The villain plays by his own rules, the hero plays by society's rules, they can't be together without one of them compromising...so they fight. The hero isn't just the villain's nemesis, the hero is the villain's CONSORT. Both would deny it vehemently, but for every Doctor Developer who switches sides to be with his consort, there were probably a dozen eternal struggles that cast a hero as consort in all but name: the focus of the villain's obsession, the one person who the villain wanted to have around to see their plans come to completion, etc. If I end up in that sort of relationship with Dan Tracey, please put a gun to my head and pull the trigger. (underlined)So, what do *I* want? Having established that I am going to be a true villain, I obviously need a proper consort. Not arm-candy (although I might settle for some until I find Ms. Right), not a one-heist stand (again, settle), and damn sure not a Lady Lawful (cute as both Ladies Lawful were). I think I want an equal, at least in general terms. I'd be in charge, of course, but I wouldn't want to make it look like I was just boning a henchwoman. Someone powerful, but less devious. Willing to let me be the brains of the outfit, and be my enforcer. Heck, if I could find a villainous Lady Lawful sort, that'd be perfect. But she wouldn't have to be a brute, just some sort of powers that could be an ace in the hole for me. It's not looking like I'm ever going to be a physical heavy-hitter unless I can score some serious supertech, so I should marry into might. Well, consort into it, as a verb. I'm certainly not going to take my consort down to the courthouse and get a marriage license. I suppose if she wants a big fancy wedding I could arrange one, especially if we do it to celebrate taking over a small country where I could simply decree our union to be valid and make it stick. Should she be hot? That's a more important question than it would be if we were normals. Thanks to the handy-dandy Magene, anyone with significant power levels (and definitely anyone strong enough to be my consort) is going to have an appearance that reflects their self-image. Plain-looking supers think of themselves as plain, ugly ones think of themselves as monsters, sexy ones are raving egomaniacs. Well, I like to think I keep the raving down to a tolerable level in my own case. But just look at how young Miss Grant blossomed once she got her powers under control and stopped thinking of herself as a freak! That wasn't just puberty being kind, that was her self-image feeding back into her Magene-enhanced physiology. Hm. While there's something to be said for a consort who's at least a little insecure, giving me a handle to use in controlling her, that'd be beneath me. If I'm really worthy to be considered the first true villain of my age, then I need a consort who's as wild and uncontrollable as I am. She needs to be a villain in her own right, even if she complements me in as many ways as I can manage. So, yeah, my consort will be drop-dead sexy. I think I can live with that. =========================================================================== This has been a Conclave of Super-Villains Special: ( ) Derek Radner's Private Journal ( ) I An Academy of Super-Heroes Universe Comic I I copyright 2013 by Dave Van Domelen I #8 - Consorts =========================================================================== Author's Notes: http://creepingmonsterism.tumblr.com/post/55059291753/dan-grind-tracey inspired this. Blame Adrian. ;) I tried not to "predict" Sultry too much, and I think Derek was really just looking for a "Fiends With Benefits" fling with her when they first met, anyway. She was pretty clearly enough of a manipulator herself that she wouldn't have fit his checklist. If Radner ever went back to re-read this entry, he might be doubting who, exactly, is the one in charge of their marriage. (Answer: the twins are, naturally. He really didn't think far enough ahead to the ramifications of children coming from a consort relationship. He's pretty much doomed for the next decade or so. Longer if Angelique gets pregnant again.) ============================================================================ For all the back issues, plus additional background information, art, and more, go to http://www.eyrie.org/~dvandom/ASH ! To discuss this issue or any others, either just hit "followup" to this post, or check out our Yahoo discussion group, which can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ash_stories/ ! There's also a LiveJournal interest group for ASH, check it out at http://www.livejournal.com/interests.bml?int=academy+of+super-heroes (if you're on Facebook instead, there's an Academy of Super-Heroes group there too). ============================================================================