The cover is split vertically. On one side, a muscular man is dressed in tatters and surrounded by menacing, vaguely alien figures. On the other, a lithe Asian man is in a defensive crouch amidst a horde of shadowy minions. The cover copy proclaims, "The Second Age Begins Here!" A smaller banner in the upper right says, "Scriptbook Special Edition!" ____________________________________________________________________________ .|, COHERENT An ASHistory Series --+------------------------------------------------------------------------- '|` SUPER STORIES #5 - Lighting The Torch Featuring Brightsword and Jiang Sheng copyright 2007 by Dave Van Domelen ____________________________________________________________________________ Welcome to Coherent Comics' very first Script Book Special! Rather than the usual prose style, this issue is written up in "full script" format as if intended for delivery to an art team. Enjoy! GENERAL ART NOTES: The odd-numbered pages tell Brightsword's story, the even-numbered pages tell Jiang Sheng's story, except for the final page, which they split. The art in the Brightsword story should have Jim Jackson (Brightsword) drawn as a Jack Kirby hero, but everything else around him should look like Steve Ditko at his trippiest. Jiang Sheng's art should be shadowy and moody, evoking some of the "new crop" of late 60s/early 70s artists on the Neal Adams end of things. Design motifs should repeat between the stories, but be twisted significantly in the Ditko-trip art. PAGE 1 Two panels. The top panel runs across the top third of the page, and is entirely black except for the captions and thought balloon. Go nuts on the bottom panel with mad science and alien abduction imagery, and don't worry about being able to reproduce any of it. The scenery will be in flux for Brightsword's story, to represent how he hasn't fully shaken off being drugged. Panel 1: Black. Captions run diagonally from upper left to lower right, with a thought bubble at the very lower right corner. CAPTION 1: It's March 5, 1967. Jim Jackson finished his hitch in the U.S. Army yesterday, and before taking the Greyhound back to Omaha went out for one last big bender with his buddies in San Francisco. CAPTION 2: Now, though, Jim might just miss that bus. His head's pounding like an artillery stonk, his mouth feels like a squirrel died in it, and his brain feels like someone installed it upside down. He has just one question. THOUGHT 3 (JIM): Where the heck am I? Panel 2: Jim is strapped down to some sort of medical table amidst Science Gone Mad! He's wearing civilian clothing that looks rumpled and a bit ill-fitting, like he last wore it at the start of his tour of duty. Caption in upper left, burst speech balloon on right. Long shot from above to take in the whole room. CAPTION 4: Some questions are better left unanswered, Jim! BURST 5 (JIM): HOLY HANNAH! PAGE 2 Panel layout should be more fluid in this story, with not every panel being strictly rectangular, and some may overlap, with characters violating panel boundaries. Specific panel ordering left to the artist on most pages. 5 panels on this page. Panel 1: San Francisco Bay at night. A yacht is pulling out of dock, and a figure in foreground is swimming towards it. This is Jiang Sheng. His shoes are tied together around his neck and his shirt is tied around his waist. He wears typical "martial artist" garb. CAPTION 1: Nighttime in San Francisco Bay, and evil is on the move. But so is good. Panel 2: Jiang clambers up the side of the yacht, cloaked in shadow. On deck, a sentry is oblivious to his presence. CAPTION 2: An immortal evil has once more preyed on the innocent, but this time there will be justice! Panel 3: Jiang is behind the sentry, disabling him with a single, precise blow. No SFX, just a slight visual burst effect. BURST 3 (SENTRY): UNH! Panel 4: Jiang is dragging the sentry into the shadows. Panel 5: Closeup of Jiang emerging from the shadows, pulling the sentry's cap down over his face and wearing the sentry's uniform. THOUGHT 4 (JIANG): I'm coming for you, father! PAGE 3 Four panels in a 2 by 2 grid. Panel 1: Long shot, similar to page 1 panel 2, but a little tighter. Jim is only slightly tensed up. THOUGHT 1 (JIM): Gotta get outta these straps! Panel 2: Medium shot, Jim's straining against his bonds, and his muscles are threatening to rip right out of his clothing. Leave room for the caption somewhere. CAPTION 2: Sorry, Jim, but whoever tied you down knew what they were about! BURST 3 (JIM): UNNNGH! Panel 3: Closeup on Jim's right arm, which is now bulging to the point that it's ripping through his sleeve. SFX: R-R-RRRIP! CAPTION 4: Or maybe they didn't? Panel 4: Upper body shot of Jim, who has suddenly relaxed in surprise as he looks off to the right. SFX (FROM RIGHT): Clik! BURST 5 (JIM): Who's there? PAGE 4 Again, fairly free and loose panel layout, up to the artist. Try to give the impression of wandering through a maze. Panel 1: Jiang heads below deck. This is a large enough yacht that it has an actual stairwell, not a ladder. THOUGHT 1 (JIANG): What poor soul have you captured this time, father? Panel 2: Jiang exiting stairwell into a narrow corridor. It's poorly lit, with random shafts of light emerging from doorways or portholes to cast the only illumination. THOUGHT 2 (JIANG): Will you content yourself with mere vivisection, or do you have something worse in mind? Panel 3: Closeup on Jiang's face, half-lit by moonlight from a porthole. THOUGHT 3 (JIANG): Perhaps you seek to finally replicate the experiments that led to -- Panel 4: Jiang seen from behind as he turns a corner. THOUGHT 4 (JIANG): -- me? PAGE 5 Page is split into two panels. The top panel is short but full width, the bottom panel is square, taking up most of the page. Panel 1: Long shot of Jim on the table, clothing a bit tattered now. Entering the panel from right and left are shadowy, bulky humanoid forms. Perhaps we only see part of their bodies in this panel. BURST 1 (JIM): !! Panel 2: Another freakout scene from above with Jim on the table surrounded by weirdness. The two figures look like they're wearing some sort of yellow alien space suits, totally obscuring the details of their bodies. Square faceplates of mirrored glass hide their features. Play with details, adding or subtracting fingers, etc. They hold out strange devices and wave them over Jim as if examining a lab animal. Jim's looking at them in disbelief, and has momentarily stopped struggling. Instructions to Letterer: Their speech bubbles should be weirdly shaped and kind of dripping-looking. Make up some sort of odd characters for their gibberish speech. ALIEN BUBBLE 2 (ALIEN 1): (short string of alien letters) ALIEN BUBBLE 3 (ALIEN 2): (somewhat longer string of alien letters) BURST 4 (JIM): ALIENS! PAGE 6 The corridors are even darker on this page, as he's in an interior section with no portholes to shed light. Lighting should come from cracks under doors and the like. Three panels. Panel 1: Jiang is walking like someone who's bored and belongs there, rather than skulking. A pair of figures in yellow hazmat suits with the headpieces in their hands are talking. They're both clearly Chinese. SPEECH 1 (HAZMAT 1): <...subject seems to show abnormal variances.*> SPEECH 2 (HAZMAT 2): FOOTNOTE 3: * Translated from Mandarin Chinese Panel 2: Jiang is walking past the pair, casually, hiding his face as nonchalantly as he can manage. SPEECH 4 (HAZMAT 1): SPEECH 5 (HAZMAT 2): SFX 6 (BY HAZMAT 2'S WRIST): BEEP! Panel 3: Jiang has passed the pair, who are visible over his shoulder. Medium-close shot of Jiang, who is casting a frustrated glance backwards. THOUGHT 7 (JIANG): Father grows bold! PAGE 7 Four panel grid. Panel 1: The two aliens are attaching an object that looks vaguely like a flashlight (it should subtly change appearance in every panel, just as everything else does) to some armature while chattering to each other. Jim is trying to sit up, and is shouting at them accusingly. ALIEN BUBBLE 1 (ALIEN 2): (short gibberish) ALIEN BUBBLE 2 (ALIEN 1): (short gibberish) BURST 3 (JIM): Hey, what's that for?! Panel 2: The aliens are moving the armature over to Jim, and he's looking up at the flashlight-thing anxiously, sweating a bit. It pulses with the beginnings of an energy flare, a little Kirby Krackle leaking out. SPEECH 4 (JIM): Hey...wait a second! You-you don't wanna be doing that... ALIEN BUBBLE 5 (ALIEN 1): (single word) CAPTION 6: Sure they do! Panel 3: The laser torch fires, the panel is dominated by a blast effect and Jim's half-silhouetted face twisted in a grimace of pain. BURST 7 (JIM): AAAA--! Panel 4: The beam has been pulled back, but is still sizzling in one corner of the panel. Medium shot of Jim, whose shirt is pretty much a writeoff at this point, but he seems totally uninjured. He looks down at his chest as best as he can while strapped down, an expression of surprise on his face. SPEECH 8 (JIM): --aagh? CAPTION 9: Betcha didn't expect THAT, Jim! PAGE 8 Same hallway setting, same bad lighting. Five panels, the first two should be fairly small to leave room for the action in the last three. Panel 1: Similar composition to final panel of page 6, but HAZMAT 1 is pointing at Jiang. BURST 1 (HAZMAT 1): SPEECH 2 (JIANG): Panel 2: Jiang has pulled his cap down and is trying to fake that he's the guard he replaced. He's reaching into his pocket as well. SPEECH 3 (HAZMAT 1): SPEECH 4 (HAZMAT 1): SPEECH 5 (JIANG): Panel 3: Jiang has pulled his hand from his pocket and punched HAZMAT 1 in the gut. His target is doubled over. HAZMAT 2 is recoiling in shock, desperately stabbing the wrist control that he pressed on page 6. BURST 6 (JIANG): SFX 7 (BY HAZMAT 1): WHUK SFX 8 (BY HAZMAT 2'S WRIST): BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Panel 4: Jiang is felling HAZMAT 2 with a roundhouse kick. Several men in uniforms like theone Jiang is wearing are arriving at the edge of the panel. SFX 9 (BY HAZMAT 2'S HEAD): KRAK! Panel 5: A crackling field surrounds Jiang, who is spasming. It connects back to a control box held in the hands of one of the guards. SFX 10: ZZZZZZT! PAGE 9 Six panels, in a two-wide three-tall grid. Panel 1: The blade has descended again, on Jim's left shoulder. Jim's face should just barely be in shot, again silhouetted by the energy discharge. All panels will share the same framing, so make sure all the targeted body parts will fit into the panel. THOUGHT 1 (JIM): Hey, I barely felt that! Panel 2: Blade withdrawn, moving to Jim's right. ALIEN BUBBLE 2 (ALIEN OFF): (short phrase) THOUGHT 3 (JIM): But it sure did a number on my shirt, so what gives? Panel 3: Blade on Jim's abdomen, face is under-lit now. SPEECH 4 (JIM): Hee! Stop it, that tickles! Panel 4: Blade moving up towards Jim's right shoulder. THOUGHT 5 (JIM): Hey, maybe it's supposed to be hurting me, and I'm just one of those mysterymen like in WWII? Panel 5: Jim moves, making the blade's energy bounce off his bicep and onto the strap securing his right forearm. THOUGHT 6 (JIM): Gotta time this just -- Panel 6: Jim's right arm is free. The laser blade is still active, and he's reaching up for it. BURST 7 (JIM): -- RIGHT! ALIEN BURST 8 (ALIEN, OFF): (Short, but clearly concerned gabble) PAGE 10 Three panels. The first one is square and takes up the top 2/3 or so of the page. The bottom of the page is split evenly between the other two panels. The setting is your basic "Ming the Merciless" throneroom, albeit on a smaller scale to fit onto a boat. There's flickering electrical arcs in place of torches. Dr. Sheng is wearing what looks to be a cross between a labcoat and Mandarin robes. He's bald and has a Fu Manchu mustache that is slightly graying. His fingers are unadorned, but serpentine tattoos are visible on his arms and terminate with dragon heads on the backs of his hands. Panel 1: Dr. Sheng is in his throne, looking down at Jiang. A crackling aura surrounds Jiang's body, forcing him into a kneeling posture, but it does not extend to his head. Jiang still wears the guard uniform pants, but the shirt and cap are gone. He looks a little worked-over. Guards flank Jiang, one of whom is performing a procedure that looks like he's passing off control of the paralysis beam from his portable unit to a wall-mounted projector (so there should be little energy beams connecting Jiang to both). Caption in upper left. CAPTION 1: Dr. Huang Sheng! Fiend of the East, master of forbidden sciences, scourge of the Pacific Rim...and Jiang's father! SPEECH 2 (DR. SHENG): So, the errant son returns. Have you decided to grow up and stop playing the hero, or is this just another tiresome attempt to deny your place at my side? Panel 2: Same basic composition as Panel 1, but smaller. Jiang is spitting to one side, since his head is free to move. SFX 3 (JIANG): PTUI! Panel 3: Closeup on Jiang's face. SPEECH 4 (JIANG): Perhaps it is you who should grow up, father, and put away all these toys? PAGE 11 Full page splash. Jim has grabbed the laser torch and swung it in an arc, the energy trail should clearly show it having gone from its armature and through part of the table, which is now breaking apart under Jim's newly found superhuman strength. Sparks are exploding from various banks of equipment. The aliens are cowering among the explosions. Note that the cutting torch should now look like the reference material provided for Brightsword's sword, and will no longer shift appearance. It is not part of the drugtrip background anymore, it's part of Jim's more stable self-concept. BURST 1 (JIM): FREEDOM! ALIEN BURST 2 (ALIEN 2): (short exclamation) SFX 3: THOOM! CAPTION: I think you broke their toy, Jim! PAGE 12 Four panels. Panel 1: Medium shot of a smiling Dr. Sheng. The SFX should be identical to the one used on page 11, but smaller. SPEECH 1 (DR. SHENG): Ah, yes, how I miss our father-son chats. But you have outlived your usefulness, and perhaps it is time -- eh? SFX 2 (OFF, FAINT): THOOM! Panel 2: Same camera angle as Panel 1, but Dr. Sheng is being rocked to one side and the lights have dimmed. BURST 3 (DR. SHENG): What is the meaning of this?! Panel 3: Closeup of the wall unit that's been keeping Jiang paralyzed. It sparks and fails. SFX 4: FZZT! Panel 4: Jiang lashes out as he rises in one smooth movement, smashing the guard's portable paralysis box with a swift kick. The lights are uneven, as if power is fluctuating. BURST 5 (JIANG): Freedom! PAGE 13 Three horizontal panels representing the same section of hallway. The way Jim sees things is stabilizing now as his superhuman metabolism starts to clear out the drugs in his system, so scenery should look more or less the same each time, just minor details differing. Jim progresses from the left end at the top panel to the right end at the bottom panel, fighting through various bio-suited "aliens". Their appearances are stabilizing as well, they still look Ditko-y, but more and more like the hazmat-suited techies in the Jiang side of the story. Panel 1: Jim is running down the hall, from left to right, and is at the left end right now. A bunch of aliens is approaching from the right, holding strange Ditkotech weapons. Jim's holding the laser torch as a sword. BURST 1 (JIM): You're not gonna stop me! I'm bustin' out! Panel 2: Jim slams into the aliens like a bowling ball into tenpins, scattering them. A few ray beams are lancing out in his direction, but none hit. He's not actually using the torch to hit them, just bulling through. SFX 2: CRASH! CAPTION 3: Bowling for aliens! Panel 3: At the right end of the hall, Jim is tossing aside one last alien, the rest have already fallen. THOUGHT 4 (JIM): Now, to cut through the hull, and -- waitaminnit! What if we're in space already? CAPTION 5: That COULD be a problem! PAGE 14 Four panels, should be close to a 2x2 grid if not exact. Panels 2 and 3 need to have the same basic composition. Panel 1: The lighting has gone red as emergency klaxons and lights go off. Medium shot of Jiang as he strikes another pair of guards at the same time. SFX 2 and 3 are near strike points. SFX 1 should bleed across into panel 2. SFX 1: BRRT BRRT BRRT SFX 2: WHUD SFX 3: THOK Panel 2: Longer shot, from behind Jiang's head. He's blocking some baton strikes coming from off-panel, and looking towards Dr. Sheng. His father is seated on his throne, looking mildly annoyed. BURST 4 (JIANG): FATHER! Panel 3: Same composition as Panel 2, but Jiang is moving away from the camera and towards his father, who is now smiling smugly. Jiang is elbowing a guard in the face with a visual burst but no SFX. SFX 6 bleeds into palen 4. BURST 5 (JIANG): You will not escape me this time! SFX 6 (ALONG BOTTOM): BRRT BRRT BRRT Panel 4: A panel is opening behind the throne as Dr. Sheng stabs a button concealed in the ornamental armrest. Tighter shot on the throne, Jiang is just coming into panel. A guard is to the right of the throne, ready to delay Jiang. SPEECH 7 (DR. SHENG): I will escape you any time I wish, BOY. PAGE 15 Three panels. Panel 2 is actually a full panel splash, with 1 being an inset in the upper left and 3 an inset in the lower right. Panel 1: Jim slices through a wall with his laser sword as he runs, make sure it looks like there's no "stop to see what's outside" going on, he's just breaking through. CAPTION 1: How high are you, Jim? THOUGHT 2 (JIM): Guess that's a risk I'll have to -- BURST 3 (JIM): TAKE! Panel 2: Jim's falling, his world is topsy-turvy. It's night, so there's stars and stuff, but there should be a clear ocean horizon tilted at some crazy angle. Maybe add some swirly vertigo effects. The laser sword leaves a spinning path of light. SFX 4 (SWIRLING PATH EMERGING FROM JIM'S MOUTH): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! CAPTION 5: How high is too high? Panel 3: The water's surface is at the top of this inset panel, and he's plunging below, trailing bubbles. The sword leaves a particularly strong sizzle path. SFX 6: SPOOOSH! PAGE 16 The top 1/3 is divided into three panels, while the rest of the page is a 2/3 page splash. Panel 1: Jiang is kicking the guard to one side as Dr. Sheng's throne recedes behind the opened panel. Dr. Sheng is in deep shadow. The lighting is still harsh and red. SFX 3 runs across the bottom of the panel, bleeding into Panels 2-3 and overlapping somewhat into Panel 4. SPEECH 1 (DR. SHENG): Until we next meet! BURST 2 (JIANG): NO! SFX 3: BRRT BRRT BRRT BRRT Panel 2: The panel slams closed just as Jiang reaches it. A bit of Sheng's robe is caught in it. SFX 4: CHAK! Panel 3: Jiang slams a fist impotently on the panel, which doesn't even dent. The bit of robe sticks out of the seam. BURST 5 (JIANG): Curse you, father! Panel 4: Long shot, Jiang leaps into the remaining half dozen guards, a whirlwind of spinning kicks and lashing fists. This is a big panel, you may want to draw "ghost images" of him fighting across the room. Jiang is clutching the piece of robe in one hand. THOUGHT 6 (JIANG): I hear helicopter blades above -- I may be too late! PAGE 17 Four panels, 2 by 2 grid. Panel 1: Jim floating underwater, as if he's no longer buoyant enough to just pop up like a cork. He looks semi-conscious. THOUGHT 1 (JIM): Whuuu -- ? Water? CAPTION 2: And how deep is too deep? Panel 2: Jim's swimming, in a bit of a panic. Make it look uncertain whether he's even swimming up or not. THOUGHT 3 (JIM): Great, I'm not in space, but that doesn't mean I can breathe now! Panel 3: Jim's swimming is more confident now, but he's still underwater. THOUGHT 4 (JIM): Feels like I'm making pretty good time, though. Which way's up? Wait, there's the moon -- Panel 4: Jim breaks the surface, show city lights in the far background. There's no sign of the craft he escaped from. He's got that "two faced" look that indicates he's looking around quickly. BURST 5 (JIM): AIR! SFX 6: SPLASH! THOUGHT 7 (JIM): Ah, the shore...let's hope it's America! PAGE 18 Identical layout to page 13, same section of hallway, but in the more realistic style and with red lighting. Jiang crosses from right to left, quickly but warily, stepping around the fallen techs. They should be in the same positions as in panel 3 of page 13 (save for the one being tossed aside in that panel, which should be in a reasonable position for having been thrown). Panel 1: Jiang at right end, looking over his shoulder to the right. In this panel and the others, he still has the piece of his father's robe in one hand. His other hand is idly striking upward, smashing the klaxon. SFX 1: BRRT BR--* THOUGHT 2 (JIANG): Someone else has been here -- and seems to have left rather violently through a hole in the hull! Panel 2: A tech near the left end is starting to stir. Jiang is at the middle, does not seem to have noticed him yet. THOUGHT 3 (JIANG): It appears my father's latest experiment has backfired rather spectacularly. SHAKY SPEECH 4 (HAZMAT 1): moooann... Panel 3: Jiang is stomping HAZMAT 1 almost absently, while peering to the left. Yellow light from off-panel is shining on his face. THOUGHT 5 (JIANG): Yes, whoever did this broke out of the room I passed earlier. PAGE 19 Page is split vertically into two equal panels. The left panel is in a Kirby style, the right panel in the Jiang story style. Panel 1: Jim in Brightsword costume, a flag fluttering in the background, sword burning brightly. Make this as bright and shiny as possible. Thought balloon along the top. THOUGHT 1: I never did figure out who those aliens were. Still, as Jim Jackson I may have mustered out of the Army, but as Brightsword I'm just STARTING my service to my country! Panel 2: Jiang is abovedeck, looking up into the distance, moonlight on his face. He holds up the fist with the piece of his father's robe, clutching it as if he wishes it were his father's throat. This panel should be as dark and somber as Panel 1 is bright and shiny. SFX at top right, thought balloon along bottom. SFX 2 (OFF): WHUP WHUP WHUP WHUP (fading) THOUGHT 3 (JIANG): You may have escaped this time, father, but I will not rest so long as you are free to prey on the innocent! ============================================================================ Next Issue: From Jiang Sheng at the start of the Second Heroic Age, to Jiang at the end of the Third! As a world dies around him in 1998, he encounters an "Immortal Evil"! ============================================================================ Author's Notes: Okay, normally I avoid script format. I don't think it's something meant to be read as an end product, it's something to give an artist or a troupe of players. But the more I thought about how I wanted this story to work, the more I realized it couldn't be done as well in standard prose. The interweaving, not to mention repeated motifs increasing until it was clear to the reader that both stories were happening at once...that pretty much demanded script format if not an actual comic. Now, this isn't the first time I've written in script format. I did a few stories as proposals for an anthology comic a few years back that never got off the ground, sadly. I based my script style on reading a number of Priest's scripts for things like Ka-Zar and Black Panther. Those early scripts of mine were, mind you, intended for an artist's eyes, and I thumbnailed them first. This issue I went right to script, and left some of the layout open, backing away from totally "full script" form, but not approaching the Marvel style (rough plot sent to artist, then work the script around the art) for the obvious reason that this is intended to be read as-is rather than waiting for an artist. :) Not that I'd mind an artist taking a shot at it, but it's a tad big for fan art. Anyway, with CSS #1-4 covering the middle and end of the Second Heroic Age, I figured I should go back and show some of the beginning too. 19 pages is a bit short for a full-length story in 1967, if I recall correctly, but ad count fluctuated a lot back then, and stories could go long or short depending on that. I do know that there were 19 page comics in the 70s. Plus, there may have been a short backup feature to flesh it out to whatever the desired content level was. Oh, and if the linecount seems kinda high this time, do keep in mind that I'm using a LOT more blank lines than usual. :) As you might have noticed, the two stories don't parallel exactly. Jiang's side starts first, with the two techs he beat up recovering and then going in to be the aliens who experimented on Jim. The actual guards are all in the throne room with Jiang when Jim busts loose, though, which is why he's only opposed by a bunch of hazmat-suited techs. The "THOOM" moment is where they most clearly share the same point in time. http://www.eyrie.org/~dvandom/ASH/gallery/brightsword1.JPG is Brightsword's costume, done in pseudo-Kirby style. Brightsword's first ASH universe appearance was in CSS #2, he was originally devised as a historical figure in the Modern Knights Role-Playing Game's default setting. Dr. Huang Sheng's first ASH universe appearance was in CSV #19, and Jiang's first mention was also in that issue. Jiang did not actually appear on-screen until CSS #2. The Shengs were both created by Marc Singer, and are homages to Fu Manchu and Shang-Chi from Marvel Comics, in case it wasn't obvious by this point. Historical note: "Jiang" is actually a Pinyin transliteration, in the late 1960s it would far more likely have been spelled Chieng or something along those lines using the Wade-Giles system. However, Pinyin did exist by that point even if it wasn't widely adopted, so one can presume that Jiang changed the transliteration to spite his father, or just to be linguistically progressive. "Sheng" is pretty much the same in both Wade-Giles and Pinyin. ============================================================================ For all the back issues, plus additional background information, art, and more, go to http://www.eyrie.org/~dvandom/ASH ! To discuss this issue or any others, either just hit "followup" to this post, or check out our Yahoo discussion group, which can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ash_stories/ ! ============================================================================