Subject: The CAFAM Trip, Part 1


You arrive at the front doors of CAFAM.  As usual, the checkout
aisles are bustling.  Several items are listed on the front windows as
being on sale--Transformers toys, Reagan's brain,  Space Elvis toys,
anything with Broccoli in it, Potato Blades, and venus flytrap seeds. 
Two big signs proclaim 'Slashed Prices'--'Tirthos, the Ring of Storms'
and 'Blue and Gold Lego Armor

There's a display rack holding many copies of the new novel from
'L. Ron Asimov', 'Foundation and Elvis'

Beowulf blinks. "Well, I suppose I know where to go before I
visit Bizzaro World the next time... I hear their new President hates
Broccoly."

Mutsumi grabs a copy of 'Foundation and Elvis'.  

Mutsumi says, "I was wondering when he'd rise from the grave
again and continue this series.  "

Beowulf looks at Lily, Mitsune and Mutsumi. "Anything you're
interested in, or should we just start shopping?" He starts for the
door, then does a double-take at the sign. "Tirthos, the Ring of
Storms?" He blinks.

Lily stares in shock.  Mitsune says, "I need a new Swiss Army
Knife."

Beowulf nods to Mutsumi. "I wonder who he got to help him this
time?"

Mutsumi checks the blurb on the back.  "Someone named Tenchi,
apparently."

Beowulf asks, "Ah. I suppose he's pretty good at that. I wonder
where he got the robotic Elvis body from, though?"

Mutsumi says, "Perhaps best we not know."

Lily says, "Hmm.  Looks like the ring is on Aisle 3000303=B."

Beowulf smiles. "Worth a search, I suppose."

Beowulf walks into CAFAM and looks for a store map up near the
counters.

Beowulf asks, "Let's see... do we want to stick together, or
split up, since we have some different things on the agenda?"

Mutsumi says, "We'd best stick together, because finding each
other here is about impossible once you split up."

Beowulf says, "Well, I suppose personal trumps would work, but I
think you're right. And I'd feel more comfortable about it anyway." He
smiles.

Mutsumi says, "I think my paints won't be too far into the
store, so we probably ought to grab those first."

Beowulf says, "That makes sense to me, though I'd like to hit
them on the way to that ring, whatever it is."

You spend a while discussing the various things people want to
buy, then head into the interior with a shopping cart and three days
supplies.

After grabbing the paints and a few books Lily was looking for,
you take an elevator up to the arboretum floor, where you begin your
hunt for fertilizer

This floor is at times more jungle than store as the plants for
sale are all kept in their natural habitats.

Beowulf walks around with interest. "Nice place. The jungle
areas remind me of Sargasso, a bit..."

It soon becomes apparent a group of monkies are trying to follow
you.

Beowulf turns around to look at the monkies, wondering if he
should ask them to sing 'Daydream Believer.' He also shifts to try and
put Mutsumi in the middle of the group.

Mutsumi offers one a bananna to one of the monkeys.  It takes
the bannana and runs off.  The rest watch you warily.

Mitsune laughs, and Lily just looks amused.

Beowulf smiles, squats down to put himself on the monkeys'
level, and waves at one while he offers the group more bananas.

You soon have all of the monkeys eating bannanas. They seem
quite pleased.

Beowulf smiles, stands up, and waves goodbye to them.

Beowulf heads off down the aisle, looking for the fertilizer.

After hours of searching, the smell eventually leads you to the
fertilizer area, past heaps of compost and dung and other organic
fertilizers, you finally come to where the sacked stuff you want is.

Beowulf hmms, and makes a note to add those bananas to their
shopping list.

Beowulf blinks, but has dealt with enough odd smells in Shadow
that they don't bother him particularly. Any indication on the bag how
strong it is?

'New Cosmic level Strength--Soon, your plants will be RULING
SPACE AND TIME!!!!!'

Beowulf asks, "Um. Sounds like it doesn't need much, then." He
looks over at Mutsumi. "How many bags should we get her, do you think?"

Beowulf checks the price on the fertilizer.

The stuff is listed as costing 1 moon per bag.

Mutsumi says, "Hmm."

Mutsumi says, "I'm thinking if it's this strong, one bag is
probably enough."

Beowulf says, "Sounds good to me."

Beowulf picks up a bag.

Beowulf says, "Onward and upward... well, possibly." He checks
to see if the bamboo fishing rods might be close to the rest of the
botanical products.

Some investigation leads you to some nice bamboo fishing rods
nearby.

Beowulf examines them with his pseudo-Mad Fishing Skills, and
picks out a couple of nice ones for Tylor, checking the price as he
goes.

They're all pretty cheap, easily affordable.

Beowulf picks up the best three he can find for Tylor.

From here, you head down an access ramp into the food sales
areas, where you're able to secure a nice lunch.

Beowulf asks, "Let's see, paints, fertilizer, fishing rods...
Let's head over to the rings next, then the bullets, and pick up the
silk on the way out." He looks over at the ladies. "Unless there's
someplace you'd prefer to stop first?"

Mitsune says, "I need to pick up some Egyptian costumes."

She continues, "But they'll probably be closer to the silk."

Beowulf nods. "Mind picking them up on the way out, then?"

Mitsune says, "Makes sense to me."

Beowulf nods, and starts leading the way toward aisle 3000303=B.

As you head along through the hundreds of food aisles, you start
hearing what sounds like a riot in the distance.

Beowulf blinks and looks bemusedly in that direction.

A group of mermaids are rioting and attacking the store staff.

Beowulf says, "My, they do sound enthusiastic..."

Beowulf asks, "OOC Any visible reason for them being so upset?"

Mutsumi says, "Oh my."

They seem to be tearing up an area full of frozen sea foods of
various kinds.

Mitsune says, "Looks like that 'Frozen Mermaid Flesh' promotion
has gone horribly wrong."

Beowulf covers his eyes and shakes his head. "I have a feeling
what that might be." He looks up at the aisle markers, to see if one
lists mermaid flesh.

The mermaids seem to be trying to cram two shelf stockers into
small frozen mermaid flesh boxes. It's not working too well.

Beowulf asks, "Oh, dear." He walks over to the group. "Ano...
excuse me?"

Several of the mermaids turn and stare at you.  "what?"

Beowulf gives them a sympathetic smile. "I understand why you're
feeling a bit upset about this... but really, these unfortunate
gentlemen weren't responsible for the stocking decisions, I'm sure."

Beowulf asks, "Perhaps you should be annoyed at the people who
ordered this in for the store?"

"But we don't know where the management lives."

Beowulf OOCly checks his map to see what 'store assistance'
centers are located.

Beowulf says, "I suspect they're back up near the front desk;
that's the highest concentration of employees, at least." He smiles.
"Perhaps they'd be more amenable to removing these from the shelves if
you smiled and asked them nicely? After all, it's always worked for me."

"We should chop him up and sell HIM!"

Beowulf says, "I suspect the guards would take rather a dim view
of that, wouldn't they?" He smiles apologetically. "And it's a bit hard
to get them to change their stocking policy when you've been locked up
in a cell." His voice drops to a confiding whisper. "I hear they even
managed to beat up and lock up... well. Perhaps I shouldn't talk about
that."

Beowulf says, "I'm sure if you ask them politely, and point out
to them how angry the aquatic population is about the store stocking the
flesh of sentient aquatic people, that they'll come around."

The mermaids frown.  They'd obviously rather stuff some personel
in boxes, though your logic is good.

Beowulf says, "Perhaps you could stuff a few dolls of the
management into boxes on your way up there? I'm told doing things in
effigy can have a positive effect on many people... particularly if you
smile gently while you're doing it."

Beowulf says, "It seems to scare some folk, though I don't know
why." He smiles gently.

They begin discussing this idea among themselves.

Beowulf waits politely for them to finish.

They finally decide they'll give your method a try. And if that
doesn't work, then they'll start selling Frozen Manager Sticks.

The riot breaks up as they head off in their large mobile tub
for the front area.

Beowulf nods. "Good luck to you."

You soon head on your way.

Beowulf looks up at the aisle numbers as they walk.

You head on, marching through food aisles for most of the rest
of the day.

As luck would have it, you hit one of the restaurant areas right
around dinner time.

You have a choice of 'Burger Pope', 'Major Chicken', 'Fred's
Fine Dining', 'Bubba's Italian Eatery', 'Bippo My Boca', and 'La Blue
Plate'

Beowulf examines them thoughtfully. "Do any of you ladies have a
preference?"

Mutsumi says, "I like italian food."

Lily says, "Hmm.  I wonder if La Blue Plate is any good."

Mitsune says, "Burger Pope!"

Mitsune says, "I want to get a free cardinal's hat with my
meal."

Beowulf OOCly snerks at Lily's choice.

Beowulf just sighs and grins at Mitsune. "Maybe next time."

Beowulf asks, "OOC What do Fred's Fine Dining and La Blue Plate
look like?"

Mutsumi says, "OOC La Blue Plate is a weird looking cross
between a Diner and a French Restaurant.  Fred's Fine Dining seems to
serve beef and chicken dishes with a lot of pasta and vegetables."

Beowulf asks, "OOC Can I get some idea of the quality of the
restaurants from looking at them?"

Mutsumi says, "OOC They seem fairly decent, though neither of
them seems to be extremely great."

Beowulf says, "Hm. Well, suppose we compromise and go to Fred's?
It looks like the food is decent, and they should have something
everyone will like." As he doesn't want to play favorites.

Beowulf looks around for reactions.

Mutsumi says, "Fred's is fine with me."

Mitsune pouts.  "But I need a new cardinal's hat."

Lily says, "Okay, we can give it a try."

Beowulf removes the Egyptian headdress with a flourish, and
swirls her hair up into a cardinal's hat, using conjuration to enhance
the effect a bit. "That do?"

She laughs and claps her hands.  "Perfect.  Now let's go get
some nice juicy steaks."

Beowulf takes Lily's arm as they walk in. "And what would you
like, m'lady?"

Lily says, "I think I'll try some of the chicken and some nice
broccoli and rice."

The waitress comes and escorts you all to a table with is
covered with a red and white tablecloth.

Beowulf holds chairs out for Lily, Mutsumi, and Mitsune.

They smile and take their seats, thanking you for your kindness.

The menu has a wide variety of beef and chicken dishes.

Beowulf looks for chicken strips or fried chicken. He's managed
to pick up a taste for that around Chef Bork.

They have some nice chicken strips.  Mutsumi ends up getting
beef stroganoff.  Lily orders chicken and rice and broccoli.  Mitsune
gets a baked potato and a huge steak.

While you wait for your order, two dwarves, a huge man in armor,
and a tall, thin, armored woman come in and sit down in the next booth.

Mitsune wanders over to the jukebox and starts feeding money
into it.

Beowulf keeps an eye on the quartet, as for some reason they
feel like trouble to him.

Dwarf in leather:  "You SURE that ring is really in this weird
dungeon?"

Dwarf in robes:  "Yes.  Didn't you see the sign at the front?"

Beowulf looks away at Mitsune feeding the jukebox, keeping them
in the corner of his eye, to avoid calling attention to himself.

Lily and Mutsumi chat with each other about a play they both saw
while they wait for their food.  Perky J-Punk starts to play from the
jukebox.

Beowulf tries unobtrusively to catch some more of the group's
conversation.

Woman:  "We've been searching for DAYS!"

Armor Man;  "Well, according to my map, the ring should have
been right here where this restaurant is."

Dwarf in robes:  "The last time we let you map..."

Armored Man:  "Hey, I said I didn't want to map again!"

Beowulf smiles slightly and silently grants the Tsar's Blessing
on them. . o O (May the Unicorn bless and keep the Tsar... far away from
us!)

They continue to bicker as Mitsune returns and your food is
delivered.

Everyone begins to eat.  As you're eating, you hear...

The group's food is delivered.  The woman begins praying to
someone named 'Hathor' to bless their meal.  You know Hathor is an
Egyptian Cow goddess.

Mutsumi says, "And is also worshipped in the City of Brass."

Beowulf says, "Indeed. o.o"

Beowulf says, "OOC I wonder if they have a deck of cards? :)"

Mitsune hears this and begins chanting loudly in Latin.  She
seems to be reciting random Star Wars quotes.

Beowulf OOCly facepalms.

The woman looks over at Mitsune irritatedly.  Mitsune says,
"Now, now, just blessing our meals.  Don't mind me."

Beowulf asks, "True, true, but you should let them bless their
meal in peace, yes?"

Mitsune says, "Everything goes better with Latin."

The woman sighs and says, "Just try to be less loud."  She
starts eating.

Beowulf nods, gives Mitsune a *look*, and starts eating as soon
as she finishes.

Mitsune sighs and eats.

Beowulf smiles gently at Mitsune. "There's a time and a place
for everything."

Mitsune says, "Now, now, as a cardinal, it's my job to bless
things."

Mitsune says, "I think I need to go bless the jukebox some
more."  She goes over to it.

Beowulf smiles ruefully, looks over at Lily, and shrugs. "I
admire your patience."

The group begins discussing whether the spikard is likely to be
heavily trapped.

Lily just smiles.  "Oh, you just get to where nothing Mitsune
does can phaze you any more."

Beowulf rolls his eyes and smiles. "I can imagine." He smiles a
little more tenderly at her. "I suspect I may end up reaching that
point."

Lily smiles back at you.  "Either that or you'll go mad like
Father threatens to every so often."

Beowulf says, "I... hope I'll have the opportunity to gain your
exposure." He looks into her eyes, heart in his eyes for a moment.

One of the dwarves says, "You sure you know how to use this
thing once we find it?  I'm not gonna end up a squirrel again, am I?"

Mutsumi smiles quietly and pretends to not be there.

Beowulf grins, the serious mood dropping away briefly. "Oh, I'm
already mad. Didn't you notice?"

Beowulf notes what the dwarf said for future reference.

The other dwarf says, "Yes, Knuckles, I know how to use a
spikard."  He holds up his hand.  "See, this is one too."

Lily laughs.  Mitsune comes back over.  Country music starts
playing loudly.  Mitsune begins munching down on her steak.  "Mmmm, nice
juicy steak."

Beowulf takes an unobtrusive look at the ring on the other
dwarf's hand.

The ring is made of gold and has a silver wheel on it with many
spokes protruding out just past the hub.

It glimmers faintly in the light.

Armored Guy:  "Do you think the goddess was right about the
Amberites sending an expedition too?"

Woman:  "Yes, she told me in a vision to expect the Dread Pirate
Beowulf and his evil minions."

Beowulf asks, "OOC Is Lily in a position where she can see the
ring?"

Beowulf looks blandly on at that.

The group then continues eating and discussing how to best deal
with you. You have the impression they expect you to have a pegleg, a
parrot, and a 'har!'

Beowulf hmms, listening in minor amusement.

They finally decide that Teflon Billy will ensorcel your parrot
to peck out your eyes.

Mutsumi just begins to laugh and laugh and laugh.

Mitsune turns to them and says, "I hear the Dread Pirate Beowulf
fires lasers from his eyes.  Wouldn't work."

Lily says, "I hear he once killed a thousand men just by
sneezing at them."

Mutsumi says, "I hear he's a giant chicken."

Beowulf blinks. "I thought was his parrot that had the laser
eyes," he observes mildly.

The group stares at you all, then the woman says, "You've met
the dread pirate Beowulf?"

Mitsune launches into an elaborate description that sounds
suspiciously like Kentaro with a peg-leg, eyepatch, and parrot.

Beowulf shrugs humbly. "We've crossed paths from time to time."

The armored man says, "Does he really have a horde of crazed
amazons working for him?"

Beowulf says, "Depends on how you define 'amazon'. I've heard
they're ladies of good breeding and culture."

Beowulf says, "Though they are supposed to be good at fighting,
I will admit."

Knuckles says, "Well, I ain't afraid of him.  I'm a match for
any FIVE dread pirates!"

Beowulf says, "Oh, I'm sure, I'm sure." He smiles mildly at
Knuckles and gives him the once-over, as if measuring him for a
straightjacket.

Mutsumi says, "I'm sure you'll do just fine, Mr. Knuckles."

Mutsumi smiles at him.  She gets her paints and quickly paints a
picture of Annadil in a pirate costume. "I understand he looks like
this."  She passes it to Knuckles.

Beowulf oocly snerks.

Knuckles says, "Thanks." He passes her a few gold coins.  "There
you go."

Beowulf nods. "Yes, that looks like him."

You finish your meal before they do, as they seem wrapped up in
planning.

Beowulf looks at Mutsumi. "Perhaps a tip for the waitress?" he
murmurs, nodding at the coins and at the poor waitress harried by
Knuckles & Co.

Mutsumi nods and passes them to her.

And then you head on your merry way.

Beowulf asks, "OOC About what time is it, game-time? And how
tired is Mutsumi looking?"

Mutsumi says, "OOC IT's about 7 pm.  Mutsumi seems to be holding
up."

Beowulf says, "OOC Ah, then... onward, ho! Unless there's some
other reason we should be stopping and setting up the tent..."

You travel on for about four more hours, then find a large open
space to make camp.  Many other shoppers have camped here as well
already.

This space is about the size of a football field with lots of
campfire sites and a dirt floor.

Beowulf smiles, and sets up the tent for the ladies, finding a
comfortable spot to rest outside for himself.

You can hear one group of travellers begin singing 'Home on the
Range'.  Fairly soon, half the people there are singing along.

Your companions begin settling in for the night.  Mitsune begins
singing along with the crowd.  BADLY.

Beowulf smiles and hums along himself.

Mutsumi gets out her mandolin and begins playing along quite
well.  Lily watches, amused.

Beowulf murmurs quietly, "Do we want to set up a watch for the
night?"

Mitsune says, "I can handle that."

She gets out a knife and slits her palm.  Blood flows out and
forms into little super-deformed Princes and Princesses of Amber.  Then
the wound seals.  "My super deformed legion will stand guard," she says.

Beowulf nods. "I'm sure you have some clever trick up your
sleeve," he says, and grins. "Or bracelets, as the case may be."

Beowulf smiles. "My, my." He squats down to address the legion.
"Just try not to trip over my legs in the night, please."

SD-Corrine says, "Don't worry, we won't hurt you."

Beowulf grins and thanks SD-Corrine.

The SD Amberites fan out to assume guard positions.

And you settle down to sleep.

You sleep fairly well, and are woken up by the ceiling lights
coming on.

Mutsumi is already up, cooking breakfast.

Mutsumi says, "Good morning, Beowulf."

Beowulf smiles at Mutsumi. "Thank you for cooking breakfast."

Mutsumi is making tons of pancakes.

Lily emerges soon.

Mitsune has to be forcibly woken up.

Beowulf smiles up at her. "Good morning, Lily-chan."

"Good morning, Beowulf."  She smiles, and comes over and kisses
your cheek.

Soon, everyone is eating, including the SD-Amberites.

Beowulf gives her a quick hug back.

Beowulf quickly packs up the camp as soon as everyone's finished
eating breakfast.

Mutsumi says, "OOC And we'll cut here as it's nearly 3 AM."